The Fight.

I have fallen into a pit. It is deep and dark save for one tiny spot of light in the middle of the floor. My entire being is pain. My soul screams. I crawl with extreme difficulty toward that light. I want to give up. I want to stop. I make it to the spot and I look up at the faces staring down at me. Worse yet, I look up and there is no one there. I do not know who to ask for help. I do not know if they can help me at all. I do not even know what kind of help I need. The pain overwhelms me. I scream. I cry. I try to lift my head. It is pure weight; as though the entire universe now rests on my shoulders. I cannot do it. I cannot continue in this pain. I want to reach out toward the light but my arms are so heavy; leaden at my sides. I cry out. There are no words. Incoherent sounds. Garbled by pain. My mind is telling me to give up. Let go. I see the fear in the few faces staring at me. I am causing them pain. I cannot protect them. I am making them feel helpless. They do not know how to help me. Just stop. I hear my own voice in my mind. Just Stop. Don’t fight. You’re tired. Rest. Let go. I do not want to let go. I just want someone to help me to rest. I want the weight gone from this being. Who can take away this weight? Who can give me that rest? Where do I turn? The pain shoots through me. Like a bayonet, it slices me inside. I feel I am hemorrhaging and I cannot stop the blood. I do not know how to make it stop. There is no one who knows how to help. A single bandage isn’t enough. A single bandage only gets you so far. They wear away and fall off. They get torn in battle. I am in a battle. I have been in this battle for a very long time. There is no break. My enemy takes no breaks. It is relentless. Jab after Jab. Volley after volley. On my knees I fight. On my belly, I fight. With my head held down into the mud, still I fight. I fight because there is no other option. There is no break. This is a word foreign to this battle. My soul continues to scream. Pain pours from me like sweat. I weakly reach out for help but there is no one. Silence. Give up. A whisper from my own mind. A betrayal of my own person. Let go. They are better off without you. The battle can end. You can have peace. A delicious promise. A dark temptation. I gaze into the silence of the abyss. It is cool. It is weightless. It is dark and silent. I could float there. There is no more battle there. I could breathe again and never have to fill these lungs. No one need help me there. I am not helpless there. Don’t leave. We need you. I turn away, back toward the battle. Through the mist and mud there are shadows. I am not alone. Hundreds. Thousands like me. Crying. Crawling. Screaming. Some on their feet. Some on their knees. Still others no longer move. They reach out toward me. You are one of us. We need you. Don’t let go. Of us. I wish for the abyss in this realm. I want to bring it over and give it to every battle worn warrior that crawls along beside me. I want it here. I put my head down. I steel my arms. I draw in a breath. Another. I push off. It is worth the fight. I can have that peace here. I know I can. We can all have that same peace here. You have to fight for it. We are the chosen. I bless the fallen all around me. They will not have perished in vain. I push off again. I climb.  Alone.  It is a long journey. It is my pit to climb from.  It is so very deep.  The spirits of the fallen push me forward. I consume their strength. The war wages on. I have been chosen. To stay the battle.  I have been chosen.  To fight.

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About creativewriter72

I am a person embarking on an in depth exploration of the creative side of writing. Each blog post is an exercise in creative writing and the stories are not intended to be continuous.
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